He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
