I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
