Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
