i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
