im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
