I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
