Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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