$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
