Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
