Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
