Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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