I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
