It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
