Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
