I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
