So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
