Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
