i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The air was thick with penises
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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