I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
