i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
