I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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