And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
