I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
