Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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