I wish I only lived at night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
