Is it because I queefed?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
