good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
