I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
false alarm, still single
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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