take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
