Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
