Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I looked at my own cervix.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
