my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
