Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
