we're blogging at a bar
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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