This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
