Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
