Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
