I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
