Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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