my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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