It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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