Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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