I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
