he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
