just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
