I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm having to shit out rocks
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