you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
