you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I smell like Dick and happiness
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
