Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
