i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
