She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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