If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
