I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i now understand why vodka
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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