Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
