I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize