Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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