just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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