I just saw a hot homeless man
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
