her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My pussy is not your playground.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
