Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
