I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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