I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your cock deserves a montage
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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