I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
